My Other Son

I talked on the phone a lot yesterday.. quite a triumph for an ‘anti-social’ like me. Probably the only human under-40 in this side of South Jkt to not own a Blackberry or an Android, I burned a lot of bridges with potential acquaintances whenever they ask me for a pin# or WA. Why, my 1st-gen iPhone (solely used as a phone device!) and home cable connection (still faster than any 4Gs in Jkt and very reliable for downloading BluRay movies) still gets me around the Net. Resisting the latest technological advances is not futile, to say the least..My friend Tweety (not her real name, of course!), a great influence in terms of building my social image, finally picked up my call. Met her 3 years ago when I just started teaching at TM; now that we left the school we still keep in contact. As one of her adoring friends nobody could talk me out of surrendering my phone once she started talking.  We talked for almost 3h straight; the main topic was the ins and outs of our former employee, as usual, but then I started to talk about my nephew.My nephew Tim practically is the baby in my house now; he’s the apple of my eye, as far as I’m concern. His current situation (my brother, his dad, passed away 6 months ago) led me to believe that he needed help sorting through the process of growing up.

Raising a child is no small feat. Even if Tim has been a part of my life since he was born – he’s been living with us for the last 3 years now – the dynamic has shifted from ‘adoring aunt’ before his dad died, to ‘mother hen’ after. I’m more involved in his school and growing up than his mom ever does. I confided to Tweety that Tim is becoming more responsive to outside influence and has progressed rapidly since I took him to a child development clinic. He’s been going to a sensory integration therapy for the last 3 months.

In short, Tweety encouraged me to be as good an aunt as I can be – eventhough I can never replace her mom or dad – and love him unconditionally. She also listed a few dos and don’ts that I’d like to share here:

  • Never raise a hand to a child – he will always remember it for the rest of his life.
  • Give a child the love he needs, but never forget the structure of discipline.
  • Never let a child manipulate you, but let him know that we expect him to respect us and respect himself.
  • You can never replace his/her real parents (if he/she has been raised with one or both parents) but you will always be a parent to the child.
  • Pray for the child’s future.



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